I have a project that has been hanging over my head for awhile. It's one of those things that I offered to do and was excited to do, but then I couldn't do it the way I had originally planned. A glitch... Coming up with Plan B slowed me down and then life moved on and I wasn't as hot to do it anymore. It has been hanging over my head and in my mind. Unfortunately, I realized from a dream I just had, that awakens a little resentment devil in me that doesn't want to do it. I'm actually sort of mad at the project! A few weeks ago as I was out in the yard, a person who is also involved asked about it. Had I ever gotten it done? Where was I on this project? Rather than making me feel guilty, it made the resentment grow.
Night before last I had a dream. This woman and my mom were in the kitchen doing dishes together and she was telling on me! I know this dream comes from the feeling that this is hanging over my head, but the surprising thing to me was that I was so angry in the dream. At both of them! Talk to me about it if you have a problem, I yelled.
Interesting. I am actually angry about this project that is hanging over my head and the fact that people are wondering what happened to my end of it. I offered to do this. I put it on myself. Why am I angry and resentful? Interesting. I hadn't realized that emotion until I started thinking about the project and the dream yesterday. Today I am going to get this done. How futile to be mad at a project! How pointless to harbor resentment at people to whom I offered the work! I offered! It isn't their fault I lost interest! But I guess it explains why I have been avoiding this project. I guess there is some warped sense of punishing the project by not doing it. Ha! I will get back at you for hanging over my head! I just won't do you at all!
(To put this in perspective, the project is a photo address book of people who attended our neighborhood party in August. Kelly, just get it done! Don't let it take days off your century!)
5 comments:
Kelly, just looked on Shutterfly and you can make a soft cover 5X7 book with 20 pages for $11.69. If you need more they're .45 ea. You can choose to do a page with a picture and text (name, address, phone number) or whatever you want. This way you could design it, forward it to the neighbors, and they can order.
Yelling? Resentful? LOL I can't even picture MY Kelly so wound up! haha!
Oh, I can yell in real life, too! Just ask your "Moosie." Ha ha!
Thanks for the info, Aunt Pat! I finished the slide show yesterday and that monkey is off my back! I wanted originally to do it on Flickr with a password but some of the people were uneasy with their pix and contact info on the internet--even if password protected. So a slide show movie was my plan B. I attached it to an email and sent it out last night. Hope no one has dial up!
Anger and resentment, while not positive, are certainly motivators. ;-) Your post made me smile.
...and I did a good job of not nagging. EE
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